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!Changing light
A city, escapism and the quality of light.
5 mins.
⟶ [[Begin|open]] </div></center><center><div style="width:550px; text-align:justify;">
It’s one of those days where the sky is a primed canvas. There’s no wind and the heaviness of the air doesn’t promise storms, or even rain. A waiting time.
It always makes you think of <<cyclinglink "the waves" "far hills" "other skies">>.
On days like this, you [[go walking|city]].
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The city that you live in (not your City, <<cyclinglink "you don’t have one" "you left that behind" "you have that ahead of you" "not yet">>) is like costume jewellery: striking, if you don’t look too closely. Something else when you do.
What that is precisely can be hard to fix down, but [[that's cities for you|walk]].
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It’s a place of heights. Urban hills, tall buildings washed cool and pale with paint that has seen better days. On brighter days the light filters between them, adds gilt to the sea when you glimpse it on the horizon line. Today, flat.
⟶ [[You want to go to the water|water]]
⟶ [[You want to higher|highground]]
⟶ [[You’re not sure where you want to go, really|beyond]]
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You’ve often wondered how water can seem so still and yet draw slowly further in. Further away. It’s a quiet here, or at least you find yourself a quiet space where you and the other people drawn there won’t disturb each other. There’s enough sea for <<cyclinglink "anyone" "everyone">>.
⟶ [[You stay for a long time|water-stay]]
⟶ [[You can’t settle|walk2]]
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You’ve done this before. You walk and walk, first out into the suburbs and then beyond them. After a certain point you can see less than before, but what you do see — there’s something about the scope of it. The way that if there’s even the slightest breeze, you’ll find it here. That and the way the <<cyclinglink "light changes" "birds fly over" "city sounds fade">>, they help.
⟶ [[You stay for a long time|highground-stay]]
⟶ [[You can’t settle|walk2]]
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Sometimes it’s less about where you are than where you can take yourself. You keep walking for a while, until you find a scrap of a park, almost abandoned in the strained waiting of this weather. Quiet enough, at any rate. You sit beneath a tree, take your <<cyclinglink "book" "reader">> out of your bag.
⟶ [[You stay for a long time|beyond-stay]]
⟶ [[You can’t settle|walk2]]
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It gets darker and you stay. The white of the sky becomes the flat kind of blue that’s night through dense cloud. It’s beautiful, a strange filter over the world, against the sea. It makes you think of dreams, the ones where it’s just you and the stars. It makes you think of tides. You’re awake but you feel that pull now.
✵ [[You walk to the water|water-dream]]
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There’s something comforting about walking on, if not comfortable. It’s something you know, and perhaps it’s a way in which this city knows you too.
⟶ [[You want to go to the water|water]]
⟶ [[You want to higher|highground]]
⟶ [[You’re not sure where you want to go, really|beyond]]
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It gets darker and you stay. The white of the sky becomes the flat kind of blue that’s night through dense cloud. It’s beautiful, a strange filter over the world that you can see; the worlds that you can’t, too. You turn away from the multitude of pinprick city lights, face the blanket of the sky and the hills. It’s possible to know a place differently, like this.
✵ [[You run along the ridge|highground-dream]]
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It gets darker and you stay. The white of the sky becomes the flat kind of blue that’s night through dense cloud. It’s beautiful, a strange filter over the world, against the words as you read. It’s easy to go somewhere else, in light like this. And less of a wrench to come back, perhaps.
✵ [[You close your eyes and imagine|beyond-dream]]
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It’s cold against your feet, against your ankles. You don’t go out far, just let the sharp shock of it fade to something more muted that lets you appreciate the gentle movement of water. You time your breath to it. In and out. In, out.
✵ [[In, out.|fin]]
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<<fadein 15s>>When the light changes, it’s slow. Something different to the right of you — a change in the quality of the light. A soft shift from deep flat blue to cobalt, periwinkle, lavenders.<</fadein>>
<<fadein 30s>>There’s indigo behind, impossibly deep. Just a glimpse, at first, like the cut of a dagger against the sky.<</fadein>>
<<fadein 40s>>But it grows, given time. The clouds continue to shift and soften, break and drift; the light continues to change.
You continue to breathe. A different kind of waiting time.<</fadein>>
<<fadein 50s>>✵ [[Return to the start|Start]]<</fadein>>
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There’s something about running here, running now. Just for the joy of it, the motion and the moment. You’re not going to run for long, just enough to feel your heart beating and your breathing change. In and out. In, out.
✵ [[In, out.|fin]]
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You walk. Press the soles of your feet against the ground, let the sound wash over you. Wherever you are, it is night. Wherever you are, there are stars. You still for a moment, to commit it to memory. Breathe in and out. In, out.
✵ [[In, out.|fin]]
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