First waking

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<center><div style="width:550px; text-align:justify;"> !First waking A short interactive experience exploring material culture in early modern England. ➵ [[Begin|wake]] ♦ [[Find out more|about]] </div></center>

{ <<set $pray to false>> <<set $flowers to false>> <<set $write to false>> }

<center><div style="width:550px; text-align:justify;"> It's dark, when you wake, as it always is. The windows are shuttered but you imagine the sky like the silk inner lining of a fine lady's morning cloak must be, perfectly black even where it doesn't have to be. But perhaps your own are better suited — they are certainly better fitting for you. The grief that you know, that you've felt yourself and that you've witnessed, is held and worked through and subject to all the ways that you spend your hours. Threadbare, beneath the turned up sleeves; a little stained. This is a strange turn of thought: you are not truly melancholy tonight, or if so then [[it feels soft and fleeting.|rise]] </div></center>

<center><div style="width:550px; text-align:justify;"> You can explore this experience in a single reading session, though you may choose to do so in multiple sessions. It should take around five minutes to ten minutes in total. External links are indicated with an icon. <b>First waking</b> is a creative response written after studying material culture in early modern Warwickshire. You can find out more at [[Shakespeare's Material World: Daggers, Cushions and Crowns|https://www.conted.ox.ac.uk/courses/shakespeares-material-world-daggers-cushions-and-crowns]]. ➵ [[Return to the start|Start]] </div></center>

<center><div style="width:550px; text-align:justify;"> You can hear movement in the other truckle beds around you now, the sounds of wakings slow as your own. It is cold: sighs and resettling against the mattress more than once are the order of the morning. (There's lavender and rosemary from the autumn's fresh bedding, strong when you turn your head against the pillow, and perhaps there is the answer for your melancholy after all.) You're too awake now to stay abed for long. You've always liked to rise for a while between sleeps, [[and so you do with a deep breath.|choice]] </div></center>

<center><div style="width:550px; text-align:justify;"> ➵ <<if $pray is false>>[[You want to pray.|pray]]<<else>>You have made your prayers.<</if>> ➵ <<if $flowers is false>>[[You want to check your flowers.|flowers]]<<else>> You have checked your flowers.<</if>> ➵ <<if $write is false>>[[You want to write.|write]]<<else>>You have spent time at your desk.<</if>> ➵ [[Prepare to sleep again.|sleep]] </div></center>

<center><div style="width:550px; text-align:justify;"> <<set $pray to true>> Praying in the room where you sleep is known to be your habit; one of the common chambers always, though it changes with the seasons and those within the household. There is more space when many are away, of course, but you can't begrudge their presence now as the frosts come in every night and you wake most days to the yard turned glittering wonder, pale but bright as church glass in its own way. It means that you must be more careful even than usual, though, and so you wait until all are occupied elsewhere before you reach into the space between boards and [[pull out the rosary|rosary]]. </div></center>

<center><div style="width:550px; text-align:justify;"> <<set $flowers to true>> It's too dark for needlework now, even by the light of the beeswax candle, but you don't need that to feel your work, trace each <b>[[little flower|https://collections.shakespeare.org.uk/search/museum/strst-sbt-1993-70]]</b> and <b>[[vine|https://collections.shakespeare.org.uk/search/museum/strst-sbt-1993-69]]</b> that will in time become something more. It's easy to feel lost in the small hours, especially in winter when nights are so long. But you know that spring will come in time, and that you in some small way bring it closer with each stitch; bed hangings are beyond you now, perhaps always will be, but you can contain spring in a cushion, perhaps. Try, at least. And tomorrow perhaps there will be good sunlight when you are in the garden. <<if $pray is true and $write is true>>When you're done, it's time to [[prepare for sleep again|sleep]].<<else>>You have a little time, when you have finished thinking — you could [[do something else|choice]] or [[prepare to sleep again|sleep]].<</if>> </div></center>

<center><div style="width:550px; text-align:justify;"> <<set $write to true>> Beeswax is not cheap but you need it tonight, can feel a riot of thoughts forming themselves into words that can be coaxed into form on the page. You carry them with you to [[the desk|https://collections.shakespeare.org.uk/search/museum/strst-sbt-1994-22]], in its usual place when at home, positioned for the best daylight in the chamber and caught well enough by candle when it is positioned right. You cannot always steal away time for this or have the sweet luxury of wax over tallow, but for tonight and for now it is yours. And so you take up your quill and write... <<if $flowers is true and $pray is true>>When you're done, it's time to [[prepare for sleep again|sleep]].<<else>>You have a little time, when you have finished writing — you could [[do something else|choice]] or [[prepare to sleep again|sleep]].<</if>> </div></center>

<center><div style="width:550px; text-align:justify;"> Something about the feel of it, the <b>[[grooves cut into the beads |https://collections.shakespeare.org.uk/search/museum/strst-sbt-2014-46]]</b> worn smooth by other fingers long before your aunt pressed it into your hand, is comfort beyond measure. It feels worth the risk in a way you have never had to explain, and do not know how you would. Perhaps with the fact that the wholeness of each bead and the prayer that accompanies it feels like a promise to you, especially on a night like this. You are as sure of solitude as you are likely to be, your hands obscured by the folds of your chemise. You pray. <<if $flowers is true and $write is true>>When you've finished, it's time to [[prepare for sleep again|sleep]].<<else>>You have a little time, when you have finished praying — you could [[do something else|choice]] or [[prepare to sleep again|sleep]].<</if>> </div></center>

<center><div style="width:550px; text-align:justify;"> You're quiet, as you prepare to sleep again, though you smile as your roomates return and you each settle to your own rests and your own dreams. [[You sleep well.|Start]] </div></center>